Dudzakstaf is a god.

He takes the form of a two thousand metre long, smart aardvark.

Dudzakstaf created dark energy seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Dudzakstaf, he will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Dudzakstaf, he will send twenty two thousand, three hundred, and seventy eight badgers to sort you out.

Dudzakstaf's most sacred site is Evol in France.

Dudzakstaf's Holy Commandments

1. Never prepare garlic during autumn.

2. Never mix parsnips with ash.

3. Do not covet oxen.

4. Never hurt doves.

5. Never approach mountains carrying ash.