Xucdankem is a god.

He takes the form of a three thousand metre long, sage donkey.

Xucdankem created dark matter four million years ago.

If you believe in Xucdankem, he will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Xucdankem, he will turn you into a giant snail.

Xucdankem's most sacred site is Insel in Germany.

Xucdankem's Holy Commandments

1. Never allow badgers to witness sacred rites.

2. Always wear plain shorts during rituals.

3. Do not study chromosomes on holy days.

4. Always remove skirts before entering holy places.

5. Do not cook food in pots.