Cisspidcep is a god.

He takes the form of a six hundred metre long, all-knowing clam.

Cisspidcep created gold seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Cisspidcep, he will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Cisspidcep, he will destroy your home solar system.

Cisspidcep's most sacred site is Zlatolist in Bulgaria.

Cisspidcep's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about gravity near otters while wearing brown shoes and balancing seven gold spheres on your neck.

2. Do not turn your face toward south.

3. Always maintain purity during days of mourning.

4. Pray only in shadows.

5. Never play with disobedient children.