Nartcib is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely small, intelligent hippopotamus.

Nartcib created Asia six billion years ago.

If you believe in Nartcib, she will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Nartcib, she will destroy your favourite galaxy.

Nartcib's most sacred site is Dommerby in Denmark.

Nartcib's Holy Commandments

1. Do not shave your hands.

2. Do not take Nartcib's name in vain.

3. Never think about horizontal gene transfer.

4. Your children must be taught to worship Nartcib.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.