Fligflambaf is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely heavy, idiotic capybara.

Fligflambaf created the planet Mars five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Fligflambaf, he will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Fligflambaf, he will send two she bears to sort you out.

Fligflambaf's most sacred site is Ringford in Scotland.

Fligflambaf's Holy Commandments

1. Always keep your back turned to the west at sunset.

2. Worship no other gods but Fligflambaf.

3. Never go into red rooms.

4. Never stain your chest with violet.

5. Learn nine new languages a year.