Gupkabqueeg is a god.

It takes the form of an exceedingly large, idiotic finch.

Gupkabqueeg created energy seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Gupkabqueeg, it will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Gupkabqueeg, it will attempt to scare you with hail.

Gupkabqueeg's most sacred site is Glastonbury Tor in England.

Gupkabqueeg's Holy Commandments

1. Never pour water over plants.

2. Never wear orange shirts.

3. Always pray in complete darkness.

4. Do not shave your hands.

5. Gupkabqueeg must be the most important thing in your life.