Baparmstig is a god.

It takes the form of a slim, charitable crow.

Baparmstig created Europe twelve years ago.

If you believe in Baparmstig, it will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Baparmstig, it will turn you into a rock.

Baparmstig's most sacred site is Kardous in Egypt.

Baparmstig's Holy Commandments

1. Do not dye your hair indigo.

2. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Baparmstig.

3. Do not commit murder.

4. Always stare at clouds.

5. Pray towards the east.