Matvanbog is a god.

It takes the form of a corpulent, moody swan.

Matvanbog created the universe five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Matvanbog, it will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Matvanbog, it will attempt to scare you with strong winds.

Matvanbog's most sacred site is Hej in Sweden.

Matvanbog's Holy Commandments

1. Never cross mountains at dawn.

2. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Run away from orange mice, for they are unholy.

4. Do not stand on grass.

5. Always count to three before sleeping.