Hasmutyok is a god.

It takes the form of a slim, boastful mongoose.

Hasmutyok created oxygen six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Hasmutyok, it will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Hasmutyok, it will try to impress you with trees.

Hasmutyok's most sacred site is Aimala in Finland.

Hasmutyok's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about photosynthesis.

2. Do not wear rings marked with black.

3. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Always help sick porpoises.

5. Retreat if five foxes approach from the south.