Hatrillmincetyik is a god.

He takes the form of a three hundred metre long, awesome gorilla.

Hatrillmincetyik created dark energy four million years ago.

If you believe in Hatrillmincetyik, he will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Hatrillmincetyik, he will have an extremely low opinion of you.

Hatrillmincetyik's most sacred site is Katteri in India.

Hatrillmincetyik's Holy Commandments

1. Do not trade with those who eat carrots.

2. Horses are unholy and should not be approached.

3. Do not step barefoot upon black earth.

4. Do not kill aardvarks.

5. Do not gather at towers at midnight.