Wabweezoglaplagfasfobven is a god.

He takes the form of a minute, narcissistic duck.

Wabweezoglaplagfasfobven created a Higgs boson six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Wabweezoglaplagfasfobven, he will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Wabweezoglaplagfasfobven, he will jump up and down fuming with anger.

Wabweezoglaplagfasfobven's most sacred site is Neravy in India.

Wabweezoglaplagfasfobven's Holy Commandments

1. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

2. Never think about deoxyribonucleic acid.

3. Always share oranges with strangers, but never with squirrels.

4. Always pray immersed in water.

5. Fast once a month.