Pomhatlag is a god.

She takes the form of a corpulent, vain giraffe.

Pomhatlag created the Sun seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Pomhatlag, she will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Pomhatlag, she will try to impress you with rainbows.

Pomhatlag's most sacred site is Crugybar in Wales.

Pomhatlag's Holy Commandments

1. Erect a giant pink sculpture of Pomhatlag in the centre of the settlement.

2. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

4. Pomhatlag must be the most important thing in your life.

5. Pomhatlag loves geese, so they must be respected.