Disspagjap is a god.

She takes the form of an exceedingly large, ill-tempered dog.

Disspagjap created Africa three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Disspagjap, she will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Disspagjap, she will destroy your favourite star.

Disspagjap's most sacred site is Paavola in Finland.

Disspagjap's Holy Commandments

1. Always help ducks.

2. Never paint your head magenta.

3. Never look at black holes.

4. Never pour water over plants.

5. Erect a large titanium sculpture of Disspagjap on top of all buildings.