Neltonkwig is a god.

It takes the form of a corpulent, quiet hyena.

Neltonkwig created a strange quark two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Neltonkwig, it will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Neltonkwig, it will send you a sign.

Neltonkwig's most sacred site is Katballe in Denmark.

Neltonkwig's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about galaxies.

2. Never paint your hands white.

3. Always take life seriously.

4. Never eat beans.

5. Never write about spacetime.