Nillortteen is a god.

It takes the form of a very fat, awe-inspiring fox.

Nillortteen created viruses five million years ago.

If you believe in Nillortteen, it will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Nillortteen, it will turn you into a goat.

Nillortteen's most sacred site is Qangwa in Botswana.

Nillortteen's Holy Commandments

1. Do not commit murder.

2. Never think about quantum field theory near nematodes while wearing cyan corsets and balancing three silver spheres on your legs.

3. Never prepare melons during spring.

4. Never record secrets.

5. Never eat peas.