Watwiplak is a god.

It takes the form of a heavy, awe-inspiring eagle.

Watwiplak created Mount Everest five billion years ago.

If you believe in Watwiplak, it will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Watwiplak, it will boil you in a big pot.

Watwiplak's most sacred site is Chilhac in France.

Watwiplak's Holy Commandments

1. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

2. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Always help rats.

4. Never pour water over plants.

5. Do not chop down trees.