Dibcunmit is a god.

He takes the form of a very heavy, self-assured coyote.

Dibcunmit created the Cigar Galaxy eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Dibcunmit, he will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Dibcunmit, he will not invite you to parties.

Dibcunmit's most sacred site is Makopong in Botswana.

Dibcunmit's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about spacetime.

2. Never talk about moons.

3. Never point your chest toward the east during prayer.

4. Hide if eight manatees approach from the south.

5. Always cleanse blood with water.