Zigflanflap is a god.

She takes the form of a slim, self-confident donkey.

Zigflanflap created the planet Earth six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Zigflanflap, she will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Zigflanflap, she will turn you into a frog.

Zigflanflap's most sacred site is Avebury Stone Circle in England.

Zigflanflap's Holy Commandments

1. Never sprint near manatees.

2. Remain bowed during prayer.

3. Never wear skirts.

4. Never discuss horizontal gene transfer in public assemblies.

5. Look mercifully on unfortunate doves.