Fabdabtaf is a god.

She takes the form of an exceedingly fat, stupid spider.

Fabdabtaf created the planet Mars nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Fabdabtaf, she will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Fabdabtaf, she will hide angry, poisonous snakes in your dwelling place.

Fabdabtaf's most sacred site is Thethampakkam in India.

Fabdabtaf's Holy Commandments

1. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

2. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Fabdabtaf.

3. Fast once a month.

4. Always share oranges with strangers, but never with seals.

5. Always stare at clouds.