Dagfodjarn is a god.

It takes the form of a large, intelligent crab.

Dagfodjarn created oxygen eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Dagfodjarn, it will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Dagfodjarn, it will destroy your favourite planet.

Dagfodjarn's most sacred site is Auvillar in France.

Dagfodjarn's Holy Commandments

1. Feed all hungry pigs.

2. You must love Dagfodjarn.

3. Never talk about fire.

4. Never allow hamsters to witness sacred rites.

5. Always remove rings before entering holy places.