Jipflagwig is a god.

It takes the form of a very long, boastful cat.

Jipflagwig created viruses four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Jipflagwig, it will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Jipflagwig, it will destroy your home solar system.

Jipflagwig's most sacred site is Camon in France.

Jipflagwig's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear orange shirts.

2. Jipflagwig loves mice, so they must be respected.

3. Do not drink water in yellow rooms.

4. Always make sure there are no swans in a building before entering it.

5. Learn five new languages a year.