Satmumflab is a god.

It takes the form of a blubbery, boastful ant.

Satmumflab created the planet Saturn six billion years ago.

If you believe in Satmumflab, it will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Satmumflab, it will send you a strongly worded letter.

Satmumflab's most sacred site is Kerris in England.

Satmumflab's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about eukaryotes.

2. Never wear green dresses.

3. Look mercifully on unfortunate aardvarks.

4. Never talk about horses.

5. Always look after injured mites.