Quamdidsig is a god.

She takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, staggering gorilla.

Quamdidsig created the planet Venus three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Quamdidsig, she will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Quamdidsig, she will destroy your favourite galaxy.

Quamdidsig's most sacred site is Gorbio in France.

Quamdidsig's Holy Commandments

1. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Walk at least four thousand metres per day.

3. Your children must be taught to worship Quamdidsig.

4. Do not stand on grass.

5. Hide if three monkeys approach from the south.