Gumcudbetloop is a god.

She takes the form of a five thousand metre long, deceitful lobster.

Gumcudbetloop created the Black Eye Galaxy seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Gumcudbetloop, she will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Gumcudbetloop, she will send five hundred and sixty eight geese to peck you to death.

Gumcudbetloop's most sacred site is Poloka in Botswana.

Gumcudbetloop's Holy Commandments

1. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

2. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

3. Never eat wheat.

4. Never feed lots of nuts to monkeys while wearing violet coats.

5. Do not chop down trees.