Gepsatnarl is a god.

He takes the form of a six thousand metre long, staggering gorilla.

Gepsatnarl created gold three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Gepsatnarl, he will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Gepsatnarl, he will insist you be burnt at the stake.

Gepsatnarl's most sacred site is Fangchuan in China.

Gepsatnarl's Holy Commandments

1. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

2. Do not jump in public.

3. Never feed onions to moths while wearing skirts.

4. Never write about nebulae.

5. Never hurt otters.