Midpangpak is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely small, amazing horse.

Midpangpak created humankind six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Midpangpak, it will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Midpangpak, it will turn you into a snail.

Midpangpak's most sacred site is Kauvatsa in Finland.

Midpangpak's Holy Commandments

1. Never pour water over plants.

2. Always pray in complete darkness.

3. Pray towards the north.

4. Midpangpak must be the most important thing in your life.

5. Never eat green fruit.