Narnarthimnanman Bogsaslop Larghogcum is a god.

She takes the form of a five hundred metre long, unsympathetic weasel.

Narnarthimnanman Bogsaslop Larghogcum created a Higgs boson four years ago.

If you believe in Narnarthimnanman Bogsaslop Larghogcum, she will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Narnarthimnanman Bogsaslop Larghogcum, she will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Narnarthimnanman Bogsaslop Larghogcum's most sacred site is Ilmola in Finland.

Narnarthimnanman Bogsaslop Larghogcum's Holy Commandments

1. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

2. Do not make images of living things.

3. Never look at black holes.

4. Always treat grasshopers with great respect.

5. Always pray immersed in water.