Catlenbug Titpigfub is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly fat, dishonest hydra.

Catlenbug Titpigfub created the Sunflower Galaxy three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Catlenbug Titpigfub, he will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Catlenbug Titpigfub, he will send four elephants to rub you out.

Catlenbug Titpigfub's most sacred site is Basalorum in Sweden.

Catlenbug Titpigfub's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about stars.

2. Do not speak of solid mechanics near sacred fires.

3. Do not step barefoot upon green earth.

4. Always wear plain jumpers during rituals.

5. Never talk about spacetime near shrews while wearing red rings and balancing three titanium spheres on your arms.