Fagquartnak is a god.

It takes the form of an one thousand metre long, capable turtle.

Fagquartnak created a top quark six billion years ago.

If you believe in Fagquartnak, it will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Fagquartnak, it will turn you into a rat.

Fagquartnak's most sacred site is Cuandixia in China.

Fagquartnak's Holy Commandments

1. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

2. Never write about ribonucleic acid.

3. Never play with disobedient children.

4. Never wear green stockings.

5. Your children must be taught to worship Fagquartnak.