Gesstimshav is a god.

It takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, slow dingo.

Gesstimshav created the Black Eye Galaxy eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Gesstimshav, it will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Gesstimshav, it will hide angry, poisonous snakes in your dwelling place.

Gesstimshav's most sacred site is Estedt in Germany.

Gesstimshav's Holy Commandments

1. Paint representations of planets on the walls of your dwelling place.

2. You must love Gesstimshav.

3. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

4. Do not trade with those who eat garlic.

5. Never talk about spacetime near ducks while wearing purple kilts and balancing nine carbon spheres on your arms.