Kikrillcab is a god.

He takes the form of a four thousand metre long, caring lion.

Kikrillcab created Europe five billion years ago.

If you believe in Kikrillcab, he will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Kikrillcab, he will have an extremely low opinion of you.

Kikrillcab's most sacred site is Troqueer in Scotland.

Kikrillcab's Holy Commandments

1. Never allow eagles to witness sacred rites.

2. Never feed beans to gulls while wearing corsets.

3. Do not take Kikrillcab's name in vain.

4. Always face the south before curse.

5. Fast once a month.