Tunwannutt is a god.

He takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, self-assured badger.

Tunwannutt created viruses three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Tunwannutt, he will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Tunwannutt, he will have a low opinion of you.

Tunwannutt's most sacred site is Úbeda in Spain.

Tunwannutt's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about comets.

2. Fast once a month.

3. Erect a giant gold sculpture of Tunwannutt in the centre of the settlement.

4. Never think ill of sick seals.

5. Hide from black otters for they are unholy.