Zognurtstik is a god.

She takes the form of a four hundred metre long, weak frog.

Zognurtstik created the Black Eye Galaxy five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Zognurtstik, she will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Zognurtstik, she will turn you into a giant slug.

Zognurtstik's most sacred site is Hongcun in China.

Zognurtstik's Holy Commandments

1. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

2. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

3. Draw representations of stars on the walls of your dwelling place.

4. Do not kill pigs.

5. Always help sick swans.