Spagquatflam is a god.

She takes the form of a chunky, self-confident coyote.

Spagquatflam created dark energy seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Spagquatflam, she will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Spagquatflam, she will destroy your favourite planet.

Spagquatflam's most sacred site is Amrit in Egypt.

Spagquatflam's Holy Commandments

1. You must pray to Spagquatflam five times a day.

2. Never mention sharks.

3. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

4. Never sit near mites.

5. Worship no other gods but Spagquatflam.