Kiprulgar is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely thin, vain crab.

Kiprulgar created an up quark nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Kiprulgar, he will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Kiprulgar, he will attempt to scare you with lightening.

Kiprulgar's most sacred site is Kardous in Egypt.

Kiprulgar's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed lots of cherries to sharks while wearing purple corsets.

2. Never talk about quantum field theory.

3. Never talk about electromagnetism near mites while wearing mauve tights and balancing three iron spheres on your face.

4. Never allow hamsters to witness sacred rites.

5. Always share peas with strangers, but never with monkeys.