Bitmidvonkdungad is a god.

He takes the form of a microscopic, unsympathetic newt.

Bitmidvonkdungad created viruses eight million years ago.

If you believe in Bitmidvonkdungad, he will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Bitmidvonkdungad, he will refuse to believe in you.

Bitmidvonkdungad's most sacred site is Taktser in China.

Bitmidvonkdungad's Holy Commandments

1. Erect five lead sculptures of Bitmidvonkdungad on top of important buildings.

2. Never wear orange tights.

3. Do not wear purple clothing.

4. Never feed lots of parsnips to grasshopers while wearing magenta coats.

5. Never talk about archaea.