Sommisfoss is a god.

She takes the form of a minute, boastful faun.

Sommisfoss created an atom four years ago.

If you believe in Sommisfoss, she will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Sommisfoss, she will send you a sign.

Sommisfoss' most sacred site is Bogogobo in Botswana.

Sommisfoss' Holy Commandments

1. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Sommisfoss.

2. Do not drink water in turquoise rooms.

3. Learn five new languages a year.

4. Run away if seven grasshopers approach from the south.

5. Always stare at clouds.