Mutcipfub is a god.

It takes the form of a fat, vain walrus.

Mutcipfub created tapeworms twelve years ago.

If you believe in Mutcipfub, it will be happy.

If you do not believe in Mutcipfub, it will attempt to scare you with strong winds.

Mutcipfub's most sacred site is Cobbel in Germany.

Mutcipfub's Holy Commandments

1. Always store peas above ground.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

3. Do not wear scarves marked with turquoise.

4. Never write about chromosomes.

5. Never tolerate laughter in holy places.