Jarntofbus is a god.

It takes the form of a six thousand metre long, prudent dryad.

Jarntofbus created the planet Venus six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Jarntofbus, it will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Jarntofbus, it will turn you into a sheep.

Jarntofbus' most sacred site is Mazunte in Mexico.

Jarntofbus' Holy Commandments

1. Run away from red shrews, for they are unholy.

2. Jarntofbus must be the most important thing in your life.

3. Do not chop down trees.

4. Learn three new languages a year.

5. Never hurt snakes.