Ortbusyim Kipcutbid is a god.

It takes the form of a very fat, contented narwhal.

Ortbusyim Kipcutbid created gold seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Ortbusyim Kipcutbid, it will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Ortbusyim Kipcutbid, it will hide angry, poisonous snakes in your dwelling place.

Ortbusyim Kipcutbid's most sacred site is Skive in Denmark.

Ortbusyim Kipcutbid's Holy Commandments

1. Do not covet oxen.

2. Never bounce in the presence of hamsters.

3. Pray towards the east.

4. Always treat tortoises with great respect.

5. Never talk about gravity near whales while wearing magenta shoes.