Wabafshav Tomafbif is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely small, merciless frog.

Wabafshav Tomafbif created tapeworms seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Wabafshav Tomafbif, he will be happy.

If you do not believe in Wabafshav Tomafbif, he will sneak up behind you and tap you on the back.

Wabafshav Tomafbif's most sacred site is Issigeac in France.

Wabafshav Tomafbif's Holy Commandments

1. You must never eat beans.

2. Always face the west before chant.

3. Never think about quantum gravity near mice while wearing pink shirts and balancing seven nickel spheres on your back.

4. Do not take Wabafshav Tomafbif's name in vain.

5. Wabafshav Tomafbif loves seals, so they must be respected.