Cisstonkciss is a god.

She takes the form of a four thousand metre long, conceited penguin.

Cisstonkciss created Asia two billion years ago.

If you believe in Cisstonkciss, she will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Cisstonkciss, she will curse you and those you beget for fifty two trillion years.

Cisstonkciss' most sacred site is Romlund in Denmark.

Cisstonkciss' Holy Commandments

1. Always make a point of helping unfortunate geese.

2. Run away from red snails, for they are unholy.

3. Do not wear nickel on your body.

4. Never write about optics.

5. Never wear ear rings.