Barndibbif is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely large, clever crab.

Barndibbif created viruses three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Barndibbif, she will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Barndibbif, she will turn you into a giant snail.

Barndibbif's most sacred site is Manja in Madagascar.

Barndibbif's Holy Commandments

1. Do not stand on grass.

2. You must pray to Barndibbif eight times a day.

3. Do not drink alcohol.

4. Fast once a month.

5. Always look after injured squirrels.