Kipfumapp is a god.

It takes the form of a corpulent, pitiless lizard.

Kipfumapp created life seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Kipfumapp, it will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Kipfumapp, it will boil you in a big pot.

Kipfumapp's most sacred site is Daren in Wales.

Kipfumapp's Holy Commandments

1. Do not make images of living things.

2. Do not drink water in purple rooms.

3. Always pray in complete darkness.

4. Do not wear gold on your body.

5. You must love Kipfumapp.