Goddontadfarnfebfabbatjap is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely large, egotistical cyclops-rhinoceros-snail.

Goddontadfarnfebfabbatjap created the Large Magellanic Cloud four years ago.

If you believe in Goddontadfarnfebfabbatjap, it will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Goddontadfarnfebfabbatjap, it will denounce you as a heretic.

Goddontadfarnfebfabbatjap's most sacred site is Rutalahti in Finland.

Goddontadfarnfebfabbatjap's Holy Commandments

1. Do not cook food in pots.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

3. You must never eat beans.

4. Never talk about cell theory.

5. Do not wear gold on your body.