Bogbarnken Mabquafkemdagruttgignarl is a god.

It takes the form of a slim, competent scorpion.

Bogbarnken Mabquafkemdagruttgignarl created the planet Mars four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Bogbarnken Mabquafkemdagruttgignarl, it will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Bogbarnken Mabquafkemdagruttgignarl, it will curse you and those you beget for fifty two trillion years.

Bogbarnken Mabquafkemdagruttgignarl's most sacred site is Hobeck in Germany.

Bogbarnken Mabquafkemdagruttgignarl's Holy Commandments

1. Pray towards the west.

2. Never talk about quantum mechanics near mites while wearing red kilts and balancing four nickel spheres on your feet.

3. Erect a giant aluminium sculpture of Bogbarnken Mabquafkemdagruttgignarl in the centre of the settlement.

4. Never go into purple rooms.

5. Never talk about fire.