Tenpagxenkanfob Larpflylit Narwonmit is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely fat, clever raven.

Tenpagxenkanfob Larpflylit Narwonmit created an up quark two million years ago.

If you believe in Tenpagxenkanfob Larpflylit Narwonmit, he will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Tenpagxenkanfob Larpflylit Narwonmit, he will send minions to preach to you.

Tenpagxenkanfob Larpflylit Narwonmit's most sacred site is Goat's Hole Cave in England.

Tenpagxenkanfob Larpflylit Narwonmit's Holy Commandments

1. Do not name children after nematodes.

2. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

3. Erect a giant green sculpture of Tenpagxenkanfob Larpflylit Narwonmit in the centre of the settlement.

4. Always pray immersed in water.

5. Do not count beyond nine during ceremonies.