Tonvagdim is a god.

He takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, tranquil grasshopper.

Tonvagdim created a quark six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Tonvagdim, he will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Tonvagdim, he will refuse to believe in you.

Tonvagdim's most sacred site is Ulsted in Denmark.

Tonvagdim's Holy Commandments

1. Gulls are not to be trusted.

2. Paint representations of comets on the walls of your dwelling place in turquoise.

3. Never speak of balance in the presence of strangers.

4. Erect a giant silicon sculpture of Tonvagdim in the centre of the settlement.

5. Always stare at clouds.