Fitbugcum is a god.

He takes the form of an eight thousand metre long, deceitful duck.

Fitbugcum created the Small Magellanic Cloud four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Fitbugcum, he will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Fitbugcum, he will turn you into a mouse.

Fitbugcum's most sacred site is Cuandixia in China.

Fitbugcum's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about spacetime near porpoises while wearing pink kilts and balancing eight silicon spheres on your feet.

2. Never travel toward the west during summer.

3. Shun those given to cruelty.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of carbon.

5. Retreat if seven great tits approach from the north.