Gandapmut is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely large, humane lobster.

Gandapmut created water three million years ago.

If you believe in Gandapmut, it will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Gandapmut, it will send three marmosets to sort you out.

Gandapmut's most sacred site is Minnigaff in Scotland.

Gandapmut's Holy Commandments

1. Never hop in the presence of snails.

2. Never talk about quantum mechanics.

3. Draw representations of dwarf planets on the walls of your dwelling place.

4. Never wear yellow boots on sacred days.

5. Never paint your feet purple.