Gubstipmum is a god.

It takes the form of an exceedingly large, contented gerbil.

Gubstipmum created a top quark five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Gubstipmum, it will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Gubstipmum, it will boil you in a big pot.

Gubstipmum's most sacred site is Insel in Germany.

Gubstipmum's Holy Commandments

1. Never sing in holy places.

2. Always store corn above ground.

3. Do not speak sacred words in autumn.

4. Always make a point of helping unfortunate capybaras.

5. Do not fashion models of living things.